This is one of the hardest questions, in my opinion, to answer. I think, because, at some point in our walk, whether before our decision for Relationship with God or after, we also wondered about it. Maybe some of us still are.
Bad things have happened to me, no doubt. Its those bad things that kept me away and its those bad things that now draw me nearer and nearer to God. I think, when we are honest, a lot of us blame God. At some point, I realized that God was not the reason for my pain, he was the source of my healing. He wasn't the attacker, He was the savior.
Today I had an epiphany that helped me understand a little more about how this relationship between Him and I may have gone, and still goes. I am His child. And like a child in the home of her parents, I am given choices. For instance, parents desire clean rooms. Why? As children we probably thought it was a conspiracy of hatred. A ploy to keep us from our friends and activities that brought us far more pleasure, like riding our bikes or doing things that made our rooms even more messy.
But clean spaces, as we get older we realize, keep us sane. When my space is clean I can function better. It is also safer! And healthier. Those were probably our parents true motives... our own protection, safety, health and mental health, but we rarely saw it this way.
But for some reason, even though they knew they wanted it to be cleaned, they still LET us do all the crazy things that mess it up. Like try on every piece of clothing in the house. Or make huge elaborate forts out of books and sheets and kitchen utensils. They allowed us to make choices and to dirty our rooms if we wanted to. The expectation was cleanliness, but they wanted us to be responsible for it.
Today I realized there are some parallels in the way God deals with us. He knows what is best for us, and He expects it of us, but He allows us to make our own messes and our own choices... And when these messes become unsafe and unhealthy He only awaits our request for His help. Sometimes He cleans it up. Sometimes He cleans with us. Sometimes, He removes the distraction and allows us to clean it up ourselves. I think He knows just which way to handle each mess, even when we stare at with no idea wear to start, and the thought that this just might be impossible.
